Most of times, I miss some good moments that happened to me in the past.
Whether it is only a hang out moment with besties or an event.
Sometimes all those breathtaking reminiscences occur as I visit the place.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and suddenly speechless as the memory came into my head.
I always ask why should change? Why all those good things don’t stick with me? Why good moments gone?
But then I realize. I’m not only living in good memories. I’m also living in beautiful dreams.
Those good memories strengthen me. Shape me into whoever I am now. They give me something to dream in my sleep. They give me something to remember in my leisure time.
But my dreams are the ones that wake me up. They give me direction to where I should go.
As far as I’m concerned, I also have present to enjoy.
So, thanks to all those good memories. There is nothing can portray my gratitude to have you. Without you I’m not gonna live this beautiful life. Although you are gone, but other good things will always replace you. And I will experience all of them in no time.

If you really believe in God, religion, and after-death life, it’s the young ones who will send you pray to make your after-death life easier. So be nice to them while you are still alive. It’s not us who need you, it’s you who need us most. Because once you left us, we can walk away just fine. But you, you will be very and can only be dependent on us in your life andyour death.

So think before you talk to them or else they’re gonna hold grudges against you. And if that happens, I tell you what, it’s gonna be your lost.

That awesome moment when it’s him/her who chat you first, and he/she asks many things about you as if they are excited about what’s goin’ on with your life.

you are chatting with your crush but you got nothing to say so you just silent still and do not reply him/her

you chat (only) “Hi” to your crush,

and she/he reply “Hello” with “!!” as if she/he really excited to chat with you.

shinorenji:

deal with it.

it’s been more than 3 weeks with no chat with crush at all.

galau mode

Ini hal yang sangat menyenangkan, fase yang lebih menyenangkan daripada pacaran itu sendiri. Masa-masa dimana masing2 orang sebagai anggota sebuah pasangan merasa bahwa pasangannya merupakan orang terbaik sedunia. Masa-masa deg-degan dan happy setiap kali sms/telpon/jalan dengannya.

Well, gw tidak tau apakah sedang berada dalam masa ini atau tidak. Tidak mau berasumsi terlalu jauh dulu nanti pamali. Tapi gw penasaran dengan perasaan dia. Hmm…killing ya? Yeah, killing or not killing sama aja juga sih..Belum tentu proses ini berhasil juga in the end. Kalaupun berhasil, belum tentu gw or dia mau meneruskan. Toh gw udah in a (painful) relationship dengan skripsi. Urusan pacaran mah belakangaaannnnnnn..pret..pret..

Tapi setidaknya gw senang ngobrol sama dia :D

PS: gw pake bahasa Indonesia karena dia gak ngerti bahasa ini dan bahasa ibunya bahasa Inggris. Jadi gw menghindari pake bahasa Inggris…hohoho

Ever heard the words “the only things constant in life is change”?

Nobody can ever deny this blatant truth. I myself find change sometimes might be unpleasant. I want everything to be simple without so much revolution, you know..Or, as much as hypothetical as it may sound, life would’ve gone great if the only changes happen is the good one. Well, everybody wants that I assume. And don’t be hypocrite here saying that you like bad things happen all of sudden in your life…

What I’m going to tell you here, is two big changes that are currently happening in my life. Apparently, those are not pleasant changes.

First, my friend’s apartment room is now being rented by some other guy and thus he doesn’t belong there anymore. You see, that this room is full of memories. I often stay overnight at his apartment. The first time I stayed there was when I have to deal with the political case upon student’s body of my uni and I had to go home late. Did not want to risk the security of taking public transportation at the middle of a night, I decided to stay there for a night after I took my other friend home in another city (yeah, I literally mean another city). I was the only girl alone at that time, slept with other 4 guys. By the morning, I did not find anybody in that room (just like in the movie, huh?) but I find a message from the owner of the room at my cellphone, that I can keep the keys of that room and gave him back later. The other night I almost stay was also when me and some other friends had to work on something related to the same political case. When everybody has fallen asleep, I still waiting for my other friend, who later be my boyfriend, brought me some food at that room. After waiting some hours, my friend, who later be my boyfriend, showed up and we decided to take supper on the lobby while talking about some supernatural stories. We also accompanied by three other friends. Later that night, we slept at my other friend’s room at the same apartment. That night was full of memory because that’s the first time I slept at one room with someone I like, my friend who later be my boyfriend, and that’s the first we actually talk to get know more each other. The room where I actually slept that night is still technically owned by my other friend, but that night also involved the room which now isn’t owned by my friend anymore. I also have some other memories at that room, like nights when I gather with my friends after taking dinner together, nights to talk about my ex-boyfriend, nights to help my friend out of his problem with my sister (this friend of mine is currently boyfriend of my sister), days when I just wait for anything with my sisters or sometimes alone. You name it, but I got millions of memories attached to that room more than you ever think. Since this friend of mine has already graduated from uni, which means he doesn’t need to stay near uni as long as it used to be, he rented his apartment to his junior. Now, it is technically owned by some other guy whom I don’t know, and thus I can’t get myself into it anymore and flashback my memories.

This is the room

Another change that makes me more sad than I ever tought is my ex-boyfriend’s, the one that I told you above, moving to Bandung. Bandung is a different city from where I live, where our uni is, where he used to live for the past 4 years. I’ve haven’t gotten any information about this guy anymore since like centuries because he keeps avoiding me for some reasons. I got this news from our mutual friends. At first I pretend to our mutual friends that I am okay. But truth be told that I feel sad and upset at my heart. Sure that I don’t love him anymore. I don’t want to get back together again with him for sure. But I always to befriend with him…He used to be my bestfriend for God’s sake! And now why everything must change? Why we must break up at the first place and why he has to move out now? I never felt like this before. Sure that Bandung is only 2 hours from Jakarta. I myself often go there for vacation. Sure that I has felt the failure to befriend again with my ex-boyfriend before. But imagining he moves to another city is way out of my mind! I haven’t got any closure with him for once, and his moving to another city could only worsen the condition! If only he stays at the same city with me, I could still reach him.Well, of course I still could reach him anywhere he might hide, eventhough I have to travel around the world. Please, I am me, I can do anything that I want. But then, the possibility of communication and thus to get some closure is wider opened if we are in the same city. What am I gonna tell my kids then? That their mother hasn’t got any closure from her ex-boyfriend because he moved to another city without goodbye? How am I supposed to cope with this? How am I supposed to die peacefully?

All I’m saying is that, it could’ve been better if my friend did not give up his room to some stranger, and it could’ve been better if my ex-boyfriend stays in this city, or if he did not mad at me, or if we weren’t break up at the first place. Things’ll be so much easier and simpler. But why these changes have to happen with me this year? Why should everything change when it could’ve been better if it stays the same?

Anyway, the last question here is supposed to be rethorical. I do not need any answer from anyone here. Even if I need, I want some “grow-up”, “realist”, and “non-hypocritical” answer :)

when I wear a very beautiful kebaya dress

when I use a very colorful and impressive make up and hair-do

when I sit at Balairung UI wearing toga

when I celebrate my graduation ceremony

when I read my name on the list of Cum Laude students of my faculty on the big screen

when I hear all new students of my uni, the biggest choir in Indonesia, cheering at me and singing to me some beautiful songs

when I still date him and I meet his parents for a glimpse

when I have a deal with him to be single for only a day because I want to be free taking pictures, having fun with my friends, and not stuck with him all day long

And everything changed thanks to Dra. Ani Widyani Soetjipto, M.A.’s unprofessionalism work. I hold grudges against you until the day you got my revenge. And it’s gonna be way harder then you think. Because there is huge different between student’s laziness and teacher’s unprofessionalism. The latter have a way massive consequences than the first.