Ever heard the words “the only things constant in life is change”?
Nobody can ever deny this blatant truth. I myself find change sometimes might be unpleasant. I want everything to be simple without so much revolution, you know..Or, as much as hypothetical as it may sound, life would’ve gone great if the only changes happen is the good one. Well, everybody wants that I assume. And don’t be hypocrite here saying that you like bad things happen all of sudden in your life…
What I’m going to tell you here, is two big changes that are currently happening in my life. Apparently, those are not pleasant changes.
First, my friend’s apartment room is now being rented by some other guy and thus he doesn’t belong there anymore. You see, that this room is full of memories. I often stay overnight at his apartment. The first time I stayed there was when I have to deal with the political case upon student’s body of my uni and I had to go home late. Did not want to risk the security of taking public transportation at the middle of a night, I decided to stay there for a night after I took my other friend home in another city (yeah, I literally mean another city). I was the only girl alone at that time, slept with other 4 guys. By the morning, I did not find anybody in that room (just like in the movie, huh?) but I find a message from the owner of the room at my cellphone, that I can keep the keys of that room and gave him back later. The other night I almost stay was also when me and some other friends had to work on something related to the same political case. When everybody has fallen asleep, I still waiting for my other friend, who later be my boyfriend, brought me some food at that room. After waiting some hours, my friend, who later be my boyfriend, showed up and we decided to take supper on the lobby while talking about some supernatural stories. We also accompanied by three other friends. Later that night, we slept at my other friend’s room at the same apartment. That night was full of memory because that’s the first time I slept at one room with someone I like, my friend who later be my boyfriend, and that’s the first we actually talk to get know more each other. The room where I actually slept that night is still technically owned by my other friend, but that night also involved the room which now isn’t owned by my friend anymore. I also have some other memories at that room, like nights when I gather with my friends after taking dinner together, nights to talk about my ex-boyfriend, nights to help my friend out of his problem with my sister (this friend of mine is currently boyfriend of my sister), days when I just wait for anything with my sisters or sometimes alone. You name it, but I got millions of memories attached to that room more than you ever think. Since this friend of mine has already graduated from uni, which means he doesn’t need to stay near uni as long as it used to be, he rented his apartment to his junior. Now, it is technically owned by some other guy whom I don’t know, and thus I can’t get myself into it anymore and flashback my memories.
This is the room
Another change that makes me more sad than I ever tought is my ex-boyfriend’s, the one that I told you above, moving to Bandung. Bandung is a different city from where I live, where our uni is, where he used to live for the past 4 years. I’ve haven’t gotten any information about this guy anymore since like centuries because he keeps avoiding me for some reasons. I got this news from our mutual friends. At first I pretend to our mutual friends that I am okay. But truth be told that I feel sad and upset at my heart. Sure that I don’t love him anymore. I don’t want to get back together again with him for sure. But I always to befriend with him…He used to be my bestfriend for God’s sake! And now why everything must change? Why we must break up at the first place and why he has to move out now? I never felt like this before. Sure that Bandung is only 2 hours from Jakarta. I myself often go there for vacation. Sure that I has felt the failure to befriend again with my ex-boyfriend before. But imagining he moves to another city is way out of my mind! I haven’t got any closure with him for once, and his moving to another city could only worsen the condition! If only he stays at the same city with me, I could still reach him.Well, of course I still could reach him anywhere he might hide, eventhough I have to travel around the world. Please, I am me, I can do anything that I want. But then, the possibility of communication and thus to get some closure is wider opened if we are in the same city. What am I gonna tell my kids then? That their mother hasn’t got any closure from her ex-boyfriend because he moved to another city without goodbye? How am I supposed to cope with this? How am I supposed to die peacefully?
All I’m saying is that, it could’ve been better if my friend did not give up his room to some stranger, and it could’ve been better if my ex-boyfriend stays in this city, or if he did not mad at me, or if we weren’t break up at the first place. Things’ll be so much easier and simpler. But why these changes have to happen with me this year? Why should everything change when it could’ve been better if it stays the same?
Anyway, the last question here is supposed to be rethorical. I do not need any answer from anyone here. Even if I need, I want some “grow-up”, “realist”, and “non-hypocritical” answer :)